Back to school tomorrow. I'm okay with it though. The holiday season came and gone. A lot happened and it was a really good winter break but I'm looking forward to things going back to normal. The only bullshit part about it is beginning of the semester is ALWAYS expensive. Too expensive. Retarded, really. I'm taking a digital photography class that I'm excited about but they don't provide cameras to rent. I mean I know enough people with DSLR's to borrow but eventually I want to buy my own. That means new credit cards, baby. I pray for 0% APR. haha Not to mention the dozens of art supplies and books that I probably won't open during the semester. Ugh. Maybe I'm not okay with school starting. Goodnight.

i watched vicky cristina barcelona today again. at alfred's house. he downloaded it and it was very clear. i was really excited to watch it because i am in love with that movie... for so many reasons. the setting of barcelona, the music, the spanish, and the art. not to mention penelope and scarlett.i haven't heard too many reviews or opinions from other people but i definitely enjoy it.

i feel like cristina. i have so much i want to express but have accepted the fact that i'm not gifted. i'm not born to paint, or write, or make music. although, i wish i had been. but i guess it's ok. i'll deal with what i've got and make due.

tomorrow i plan on hanging out with the boyfriend. we're going to moca and maybe a little shopping.

p.s. i love red red wine.

goodnight.

I haven't blogged in a very long time (so, this will probably be a long one.) Mostly because I got incredibly lazy in the past couple months of 2008. I didn't give a shit about anything and would do the least possible so long as what needed to be done got done. I procrastinated every single project during the most important and hardest part of my semester. I would go to sleep at 8 o'clock with a huge project due the next day and hope my alarm would wake me up at 4 in the morning so that I could start and finish the entire thing. I would tell myself that that was the way I worked best. Who was I kidding, it was a retarded way to get my work done and I stressed myself the fuck out.

I was a mess. My room especially... and then my car. I started to break-out and I didn't care about the way I looked. I was okay with all of this, too. I really didn't give a shit. Really. But as I was waiting for my final grades to slowly post I realized life would be way easier if I just work harder & smarter. I stressed myself out even more when I was under the impression that I needed a 3.5 GPA each semester to maintain a $10,000 scholarship I had received. And although this was worrying me, I still put off my final english paper to the last minute. Simply because I was lazy. It was actually worse than the last minute; I had sent it to him at least four days after the due date. Finally, my teacher sent me an e-mail asking me where my final paper was. ha. But I did it. A four page research paper and a final self-reflection paper done in about an hour. Just by the lack of time spent on it you can imagine how much bullshit it all was. However, I was very pleased with my final self-reflection paper; in fact I will post it at the end of my blog. Anyway, I was ill-informed. Thank God. In order to maintain my 10k scholarship I must maintain a cumulative 3.0 GPA in two semesters.

Back to my point. There's two types of people in this world: those that are smart but lazy, and those that are not-so-smart but hard-working. I am the latter of the two. I'm not saying I'm dumb, I am very smart, but it is hard work that got me that 3.5 GPA this past semester. I don't know anything about graphic design and am still unsure if that is what I'm supposed to be doing with my life. But it's school and my education, nonetheless. So, I try. I try pretty hard. It amazed me how I managed to received A's and B's with the poor work that I did this semester. So, I will definitely try harder this year; this is my new years resolution.

When I say try harder, I'm not only referring to school but to my life in general. My body, my health, my mind, my family, my social life, my school, my work, my relationships, my self. It sounds completely selfish of me, and hey it kind of is. But this year I'm taking care of myself. Myself before anybody else. I'm at this age where things don't come as easy as they once did. If I eat a famous star at 4 in the morning after a night of drinking and smoking, there are consequences. And most of those consequence show up on my belly and on my forehead. If I miss one single class I will fall behind the rest and my work will fall not too far behind me. Therefore, I will stop being lazy and start to think about how certain things are going to effect me in the future.

I plan to:
lose weight. 15 pounds is my goal.
keep organized including but not limited to my room, my car.
do well in school. stop procrastinating. LEARN.
dance at least once a week. (in lieu of my daily workout)
make relationships while still building upon current ones.
read more.
write more.
draw more.
dance more.
run more.
see more.
drink more... water.
spend less.
quit smoking.
to not be scared.
to get out of debt, while somehow saving money.
to try new things.
to meet new people.
to be alone, sometimes.

This list could seriously go on and on. But I think you can see where I'm trying to go with all of this. This year will start the rest of my life. I am not a child anymore and I have responsibilities. I am trying to get the fuck out of Los Angeles and in order to do that I need to graduate first. Graduate with a degree that I am proud of and will actually need in my career. What I mean by this is I'm not going to waste four fucking years of my life working towards a major that I am not completely sure about. If after two years I realize graphic design is not for me I will restart. I will choose a new major, hopefully one that suits me better, and I will start all over. As long as the degree I receive is the one I truly and happily worked for than I am all good. As soon as I do that I will pack my bags and move to New York, New York where I will start an entire new life.

I'm sorry. I didn't know this blog would be so cheezy but I guess new years resolutions are inevitably that.

And now I will run the risk of sounding even cheezier and paste here my final self-reflection paper.

Final Self-Reflection Essay
I’ve always enjoyed writing, whenever I take the time to write down what I am thinking I feel free. I believe myself to be an artist and writing is but only another media of art. I struggle with my thoughts every time I sit to start my writing yet to read a final piece with cohesive well thought out ideas and sophisticated sentence structures, I am proud. I enjoy collecting the many things I’ve learned about writing in my entire educational career and trying my best to create prose that reflects me as a person. It is amazing to write down words so that a reader can get a glimpse into another’s mind and ideas.
Nevertheless, writing does not come easy to me. I was never too fond of the writing process. I am fairly hard on myself and want my writing to be better right from the beginning. Furthermore, if I am not satisfied with my writing within the first draft I get frustrated with myself and give up. It’s always difficult to come up with a basic idea and then to organize my thoughts to write a well-written cohesive essay. What I’ve learned this semester is that I am not the only one with these frustrations.
Throughout this semester, I have learned different skills to build my confidence in writing. First and foremost, I learned it is best to write down every single thought just to get it out of my head and onto paper. Only then can I organize my thoughts so that it flows better for a reader. I also learned higher-order and lower-order priorities in writing. Higher-order priorities being thoughts, supporting ideas, and organized paragraphs and lower-order priorities being sentence structure, transitional sentences, and grammar. By focusing on higher-order priorities first you are able to write a clear cohesive paper, at least in the writer’s head. Then using lower-order priorities you can make it clearer for a reader.
What I found most difficult was the topic of writing that was given to us. Before this semester I didn’t give a second thought on sustainability and had no idea what global warming actually meant. When I was asked to respond to Lovelock’s statement on the possibility of human race extinction I was blown away and completely confused. I was forced to do research and learn about global warming and glad I did. Luckily there are endless resources on sustainability information and I was able to do critical thinking for myself and create my own opinion.
By the end of the semester, I feel I have improved as a writer. Although I continue to struggle with the writing process I feel more confident in my writing. The only thing I need to overcome, which touches base on every aspect of my life, is procrastination. This problem of mine clearly shows in my writing and I know that I could have done way better in this class had it not been for that weakness. Indeed I will fix this.
Nevertheless, I will continue to write and write. This semester helped me to remember how much I enjoy writing and how it makes me think and learn. It is a beautiful exercise that will be useful until I grow old. I will definitely take what I’ve learned from this semester, before, and after, to improve myself as a critical thinker, as a writer, and as an artist.

ok i've had too much of this shit. GOODNIGHT.

it's friday! it's payday. i have a sorry ass paycheck but i'm greatful.. ha. i have to buy art supplies & i'm looking into a draft table & maybe even a lamp. i've gotten away with using my room floor for homework for quite a while, but drawing thumbnails and xacto kniveing 100+ 2"x2" squares ain't working too well on my carpet. other then thhaaattt..

school is cool. i can't wait to get rid of my bullshit classes, though. few more weeks.

i have work today. i also have an interview with an employer that will remain nameless for now. i don't want to jinx it, nah meaaan? you probably think i'm crazy for trying to work two jobs & going to school full time. it sounds crazy to me, too, but if this is something i really want to do (which it is) then i can. i've been pretty lazy & laid back about school and i have to, for lack of better words, "buckle down." my time management sucks and i've mastered the art of procrastination. i love school, i do. but truth is.. i am one lazy motherfucker. unless i have some authority over me telling me to be here and do this, then i won't do it until i fucking feel like it. i have no self-discipline. so, if i do get this second job, i'll have to really focus on school. in a way it might actually help me. because i have all this free time on my hands right now, i figure i could do a project later because i just have so much time! more work hours + less free time = less time to procrastinate. it actually makes complete sense!! hahaha ok cool. so wish me luck. my interview is in about 2 hours.

ok. so last night was cool. it turned out to be really fun. it was an interesting night. we had plans for a little future shock reunion, but for whatever reason it ended up being just me, mari, jonit, alfred, mark & matty just chillin & drinking at her apartment. i haven't drank in a while so it was cool. we were gonna go out but we started drinking and ended up staying in.

on a more serious note. something has been bothering me for a while now but i kind of ignore it, but at this point i think i give up on even caring. i know shit happens and things just don't go as planned, but why should i give a shit about people who don't give a shit about me. maybe, that was a little harsh. why should i waste my time, money, and energy on people who would never do the same for me. maybe, that was a little harsh as well. what i'm saying is. if you're going to fucking flake, have the decency to pick up the phone and let the person know. i'd rather someone be straight up and tell me that they don't even want to go then to not communicate anything at all. i'm not a sensitive person and don't get butthurt if you don't want to hang out with me. maybe, you have something planned, maybe you don't have money, maybe you just don't feel like doing anything.. and that's fine, because that's how i am sometimes. i'm not complaining about gas & money, but people don't realize how far i drive to get to the places i do. i'm ok with it because i'm happy and having fun doing it. but have you BEEN to castaic? have you ever heard of castaic? that shit is far. i will be the first one to admit it. i'm crazy for driving 35 miles to work, 25 miles to school & however many more miles i drive to have fun. i have 71,000+ miles on my 2 year old car. i've been here, there, everywhere. all over fucking southern california. people aren't as stupid as i am for doing that and i respect that. they're smarter w. their money and time but why the fuck should i go out of my way for people who, when it comes down to it, probably wouldn't do the same for me. i have a hand full of friends that would do anything for me, and that's fine. those are the people i will rely on. maybe i'm just venting. i would never end a friendship for some silly shit like this. i'm not one to hold grudges and i forgive & forget. but all i'm saying is i give up caring and trying so much. if you are my friend, you will make time for me, as i will do for you.

k time to get ready. peace.

school was cool. well the first half of the day. graphic design is my favorite class. we presented our first projects to the class. here are my few favorites..








after school me, adrienne, & kim had lunch/dinner (linner?) at shoguns. mmm mmmm bscr. the subject of this post may be deceiving but no permanent ink was embedded into my or anybody's skin today. no time. but thursday, maybe? then i came home. laid down. and now i'm doing my homework...



my office.


my sad sad attempts of contour drawing.


& to finish off the night. mmmmmmmmmm.. T.I.


p.s. i know my blog is ugly & boring but i don't expect anybody to really read this. and if you do, sorry for my sorry ass blog. it's... minimalistic. yeah, that's it.

the weekend's over. back to school. which isn't bad because work is annoying and all i do on the weekends is spend money i don't have (alfreds) haha just kidding dog.

weekend was ok. last night made it better. happy birthday matthe! he'll probably never see this but it's the thought that counts. went to the well last night for his birthday w. other co-workers. very mellow spot.. dim lights, low ceilings, chill music. it was cool. and that was that.

well, i never upload the pics from my camera onto my computer so when i do.. it's all old news, but here's a few of the pics from today's upload anyway.


cool lacma structure.


iron man on hollywood blvd.


leila


the payoff--labor day weekend.


american history x


my homework. 100 2x2 squares of legs & ass

PEAAAAAACE

... was a complete bust.



work sucked.

i got my hair cut today and actually liked it! i got rid of the blonde highlights and cut it short-er.



very asian. but i like it. i always feel really asian or really young when i first get full bangs.. but i get used to it sooner or later. usually later because they grow out. ha


wanted to go to LA Art at the LACMA but it sold out. whowouldathunkit.

then we wanted to check out the keep opening and... drove riiighttttt by.

and karma's a bitch so i'm starting to feel sick. i gotta get better before i get worse.

goodnight.

i can't fucking sleep. i got home at 10 from the hundreds labor day bbq.. then knocked out because i drank a little a lot, and then woke up about an hour ago tossing & turning from being so thirsty. not to mention it's an oven in my corner room. i have the hottest room in the house!.. in the neighborhood probably! ugh. school tomorrow.

i like school.. & i'm excited to get the real shit going..

but what i'm really excited about is this:



unfortunately, i don't have showtime so i have to figure out a way to watch it.. but it'll happen.

i think i've seen every single episode of the fresh prince of bel-air. actually, i KNOW i have. but i never get sick of them. neva eva. will smith was so cool before and well.. "fresh". but now he's just kind of annoying in his older age.

anyway.. update..

thursday night i went to element with the chickas. it was a lot of fun.. i haven't been "azn" clubbing in a while. my jack and coke was pretty strong and i think i had a couple other drinks after that but i don't remember.. which proves how much i drank. i was reminded the day after about my stupidity when kim texted me the next morning "good morning boob grabbing drunk." michael greeted me asking if i wanted bacon... i had no idea what he was talking about but then i remembered how badly i wanted a dirty dog off one of them vendors on hollywood blvd. and then in the middle of my shift at work i remembered i mad threw up. hahaha it was a good night

last night was christian's mustache party. by the time i got there the mustache's were off and it was a bunch of random heads, but it was cool. drank a little bit, not a lot. michael did the drinking for the both of us.. didn't ya? got del taco on the way home because i'm a fat ass and fell asleep. pictures courtesy of kim uy.

















school starts on monday. i'm excited. except for the fact that i'll be spending a lot of money on books and school supplies alone. whatever, i get to take a drawing class.. now that's exciting. i put extensions on hold because i just don't got time for it right now.

other then that.. my room is a mother fucking mess...





so that's why ima sleep now so i can take care of it tomorrow.

goodnight.

last night.. went to a house "club." tapas at focus, or focus at tapas.. whatever which way you choose to call it. i was a little reluctant to go because it is in irvine, which is pretty fucking far. but i said fuck it! let's do it.. why the hell not. so me, alfred, mike, christian, and mark met mari and johnny there, drank a little in the parking lot, and went inside. it wasn't many people but the vibe was definitely different. there weren't even that many housers but the few that i saw were good. i was embarrassed and shy to dance at first but i finally did and had soo much fun. i would definitely go again, maybe when there was more people. after that we headed over to albert's tacos in norwalk. good shit. anything could be fun as long as you're with fun people and good attitudes. last night was a perfect example of that.

today.. got my oil changed and car washed. feeeeeels so good. my dad mentioned i have 70,000+ miles and i've had the car for 2 years maybe? yeah, and what. went to woodbury to sign my life away, then came back home to take a nap. woke up to a mess of a room and a buttload of laundry. looks like it'll be a long and annoying night.

peace.

p.s. i saw the trailer for the upcoming movie Choke--a novel by Chuck Palahniuk. i've read half the book, and now i guess i gotta read the other half before i watch the movie.



p.p.s. fuckkkkkkkkkkkk i did overdraft. and i again hate life.

hi, i'm back.

today.. me and alfred went to 3rd street promenade as well as the pier. we window shopped, played air hockey, and walked a whole lot. we ate at buddha's belly just like i mentioned earlier and then decided to watch vicky cristina barcelona. i didn't even know it was out yet until i saw it playing at one of the three theaters on the promenade. we decided to watch it at landmark because we heard from a little bird that there was couches in lieu of single seats, but we were ill-informed. nevertheless, i am in love with the movie. it was one of the best movies i've seen in a while. i loved every bit of it and i definitely recommend it. after the movie, the escalators were closed because there was some sort of major leakage in the parking garage and there was piss and poo EVERYWHERE. hahahahah it was so gross. whatever. good day. thank you alfred wayne yson.















alfred's flying a kite.


sweet chilli shrimp. mmmm..


so, i just got a little dose of what my parents probably experience everyday for the past 22 years. they were supposed to come back home from vegas today and when i spoke to them earlier in the morning they said they were at the outlets. i guess i assumed they were in barstow already on their way home. so i went out today w. alfred and had a good day and wasn't worried until my brother called me asking me if i talked to my parents because he hadn't. he said he was trying to call them but neither one of them answered. i then, started to freak the fuck out. i hurried home and continuously called my parents but they didn't answer me either. it was a good 45 minutes of panicking........ but FINALLY! my mom texted me saying they were still in vegas and they'd be home really late. thank God.



AND TO FINISSSHHH OFF THE NIGHTTT....


hahahaaahahhahaaaaaahahahah !!!!!!!!! you got it. THAT IS ALFFREEDD YSON. muaahahahaahhahaa.

i don't have the case of the mondays. not at all. no work, all play today. have to get my oil changed and my car wash because it looks as if i live in my car and at night i can hardly see because my front window is just ugly. besides that me and wayne are going to santa monica 3rd street promenade because i want to eat at buddha's belly--an americanized chinese gourmet restaurant. they have this sweet, spicy shrimp that's pretty amazing. other then that i'm broke so i'll walk around and make a mental list of the things i want to get when i actually do have money. although, i never end up getting any of those things. my parents apparently won some big bucks in vegas so they're extremely happy right now and shopping at the outlets. maybe i can convince my mom to pay for my extensions haha because my hair is driving me insane. i'm an extensions virgin and a little nervous to do it because i always thought it would feel weird having fake hair and everyone knowing but i'm over it because this shit is too short. ok.. i took a few pictures from last night and a couple of polaroids. i'll scan the polaroids later. but here...




alfred... eating.. my dog.

malakai hundreds.

BBQ my house tonight @ 5. bring your own buns & beer because i'm broke. maaadddd b's in that sentence.

i'm at home bored as hell because it's my day off. i could have been working and off already but i got my shift covered because my parents are in vegas and i like being home alone. it's relaxing. nobody nagging me or bothering me.

i just caught my dog eating my trash upstairs.. filled w. all types of nasty shit including used tampons hahaha fucking gross.

i should probably do laundry or something. something productive... maybe.

i abandoned this livejournal before summer started, and now that summer is slowly coming to an end, i've decided to start it again. yeah i said it.. summer is done. over. it's gone and school starts in a week and four days for me. which is ok. i'm kind of looking forward to it, but don't tell anyone. summer's been fun. way fun. sad to see it over but i don't know how long i could do this shit anyway. it's amazing how quickly it went by. the cruise and rock the bells had to be the highlights of the past couple months. but this last week was actually pretty eventful. my parents were out of town so i had a little bbq, watched a couple movies, went to the beach after hours, and just chilled. no parents, no work. it was like a mini vacay; loved it. but now back to reality. once school starts i have shit availability for work so there goes my beautiful paychecks. i gotta find a way to balance school, work, and my social life successfully because i sure haven't been able to do it in the past. not to mention manage my money the right way. no more fucking with my focus.. fuck all of you. just kidding but i've spent my first year in college.. pretty much doing nothing, so this time around no wasting time. it's comforting though because now that i've chosen my major, graphic design, i feel good about it and i'm genuinely excited and i feel i'm doing the right thing. that alone is a good feeling and i'm confident in this next semester.. more so than ever.


fastfwd: tapas on tuesday? who's down. i miss dancing. i miss dancing a whole lot. but i think i've realized i don't have time for it. for some people dance is their lives, which i respect and almost wish i could be one of those people but i'm not.. and that's fine. i've been wanting to go to classes again but i'm at the point where i'm shit nervous to go back and take a real class. whatever. if i can't dance, i'm always down to watch the other hundred talented mother fuckers out there. especially housers. SOFIA, RAISA & MARI. i'm calling you out right now!!!! be there.

12am - HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATRINA UY!! you're legal now but i'm pretty sure you've been 21 for the past couple months. but i can't say shit because i'm 26. clubbin??

k i'm outs.